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Rising and Falling

A Valentines Day Message about Holding On

If they care, they’ll make time. 

If it’s important to them, you’ll know. 

Some people spend far too much time waiting for something to happen that just won’t. I know first hand. My thoughts are often similar to this-

I want you to put some effort in. I want this to be a two way street. I want you to care as much about investing in the friendship as I do. I don’t want all my efforts to be for nothing. I know that they say “if they really care they’ll make time for you” but I keep hoping that maybe that’s not always the case. I give them the benefit of the doubt more often than not. I want you to want to hang out with me or want to talk to me about life. I want to hear about your life as much as you hear about mine. I also want you to know that it hurts when it seems like you don’t care or aren’t putting any effort in. Even if you don’t have time, at least shoot me a text and say hi and try to plan something for another time. If you say you’re my friend, just treat me like one. That’s all I ask. 

Yet I know that at some point we all have to learn to let these things go. Because why put so much effort into something that just brings you down? It’s not healthy. So do something that betters your mind, body, or spirit and always remember your life is in God’s very capable hands. 

Love and blessings,

Ania

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God Moments

•The Lord blesses His people with peace• Psalm 29:11

Since I’ve been in college, I have spent more time really paying attention to the little God-moments of life. I can’t say if they’ve become more frequent or if I’ve simply become more observant. Regardless, they never cease to stop me in my tracks, and sometimes even bring me to my knees. Sometimes it’s a big thing and sometimes it’s as simple as one or two words or a smile. They come in all shapes and sizes, and each is just as important as the last.

Yesterday seemed to be a big one.

I had been working really hard all day to not let my anxiety control my mind. Sometime in the evening I decided to go for a walk. On my way out the door I noticed something on a poster that made me curious about something. In an attempt to find the answer without having to text anyone, I proceeded to look back through old photos on Facebook. In the process I haphazardly came across a photo that made me stop.

It was almost identical to one that was taken at my baptism.

Naturally, I then lost track of what I was trying to figure out and turned my focus to looking through all the pictures from my baptism. Whist doing so I pulled out my artsy Bible and was flipping through it. I came across a verse that stood out to me, and I just had a feeling I needed to do something kind.

So, I proceeded to get out my stationary and write four cards to some girls I know who I felt needed to hear that they were loved and appreciated and that God has great plans for their lives. I purposely didn’t sign them, because why draw attention to myself when the focus was intended to be on the Lord? So I finished them and slipped them under their doors.

Right before I went to bed, I noticed something about that old Facebook photo that I hadn’t earlier. The day and time of her baptism.

Year- 2014. I was baptized one year later in 2015.

Month- October. Wow, I was baptized in October too!

Day- 4th. Aka the first Saturday in October. Funny, I was baptized on the 3rd, the first Saturday in October.

Time- 7am. I don’t remember exactly what time mine was, but I know I was up and outside before 8am.

Freaky, right?

I don’t think my mind slowed down enough to realize this as slowly as I wrote it, but I remember reading the caption and immediately having tears rolling down my face. There was God, saying “Hello down there! I see you and I know your heart and I just wanted to remind you that I’m still here and I make things happen for a reason. I’m working in your life even when you can’t see it!”

And then something else happened.

I woke up sometime after 1am to go get water and when I turned around to go back into my room I noticed a piece of paper on my door. With a Bible verse. It said “The Lord blesses His people with peace.” Yup! There He was again saying “I see you and you are loved.” And I did have peace last night, peace I hadn’t had for quite a few days because of my anxiety. God is good. 

I have to say, it’s the little things that often have the biggest impact. So I encourage you to be looking for the ways God might be trying to tell you that He sees you and loves you and knows your heart. Because I would venture to guess that if you trust in Him and pay attention, you’ll hear the whispers.

Peace, Love, and Blessings,

Ania

Things that Help:

I know that a list such as this is going to be different for just about every person who makes one. But that doesn’t mean that what works for me wont resonate with anyone else. In fact, I have connected with so many bits and pieces of others’ posts that I was inspired enough to want to write my own. So whether one person connects with one thing I wrote or no one does, it’s out there working to help break the stigma around anxiety and every other mental illness.

1. Reassurance – I doubt myself. The simple act of someone telling me it’s going to be okay goes a long way. Also, sometimes it’s my physical health that’s scaring me and again, hearing that makes a big difference.

2. Hold Me – My first/highest love language is physical touch. In other words, I love hugs. And sometimes I just need someone to wrap their arms around me and not let go until I pull away. It makes me feel safe and calms my mind down. Also, science has proven that it helps, so … science. Yep.

3. Understanding/Patience – Sometimes all I need is to know you’re in this for the long haul and aren’t going anywhere anytime soon. I know that my fears are irrational and what feels like a crisis to me may seem trivial to you, but please understand that I’m not in control of my mind and I care so deeply about you even if I can’t show it.

4. Honesty – Tell me the truth. If I am being unreasonable or expecting too much, not seeing the whole picture or not getting social cues, just tell me. It makes things worse when I know you’re lying to protect my feelings.

5. Presence – Most times I do want to talk, but not always. Sometimes I don’t need or want to talk, but if you just put on some music or a movie and sit with me, the act of you simply being there is helping.

6. Questions – If you don’t know how/if theres anything you can do to help, ask me! I want you to speak up and feel comfortable enough asking me anything! I’m very gentle and I promise I wont bite! In some cases, this is the best thing you can do. Just be prepared for me to say I don’t know, because I might not have an answer for you and thats okay!

Anxiety looks different for everyone who has it. When my mind gets racing, I often wish my friends or loved ones just knew what I need or how to help. And although I never expect that, this was the list I put together for myself to have when someone asks me “What can I do to help?” Before I wrote this, I never knew what to say. Its not perfect by any means, and its not a solution or cure, but my hope is that this resonates with someone in one way or another.

Peace, Love, and Blessings,

Ania

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